This is it.

I wanna get it.

Initially wanna get another model. but oh well, that's

totally out of my budget right now.

somemore im not a professional. HAHAHA.

so people, do give me your comments and opinions if

you have any. :)

cos i never buy a camera before. so

abit SUAKU here.

pardon me :))))

i got the urge i got the urge i got the urge i got the urge
i got the urge i got the urge i got the urge i got the urge

i go the urge to tell him.

but i just cant do it.
i cant say it all out.
cause im just so afraid that i'll ruin everything.
the state that we are now in.

it always stopped there/.

it's soon going to piled up and cemented there.

but still.. i really really got that urge.

tell me what to do. :/

it's fast, how amazing can it be.
cheeky isn't around still.

and that it's going to be 4th week.


it's already over 1month.
how great or should it be how bad?

i not sure. :[

ATT: HUIQI
From: TOMATO

once you see this urgent beep*, please reply to meeeeee.
HAHAHAHA. i seriously need to see YOUR REPLY.

okay. it's 3rd week FINALLY.
cool guy cut his hair.
his initial hairstyle is nice and make him look uper cool.
but now, :/ no more extra cool-ness added to him already.
not that cool anymore. :[

im going to get my baby real soonnnnnnnn
just wait for me :]
when i get MONEY.
i cant wait that damn seriously.

and i seriously need another jobs, anybody has any good deal?
HAHAHA.
and u'll notice the job ends with a s.

mahmod is funny.
and he seems to become my communication buddy during worktime.
LOL. :]
which is cooollllll.

and cheeky no where to be seen these few days. :/

HOT SUNDAY i must say.

:

it's HOT peopleeeeeee.

weird feeling~

and it's monday once again TOMORROW.
oh gosh.

i dreaddddddd cause of the workload.

i dreamt and i can see the workload is piling up and

coming towards me already. :[

saying hello to me alreadyy.

Anyway, went to spend a day at the sentosa ytd.

out to the NATURE. :] yea man!

then later in the night to cafe del moar.

it's s e n t o s a day.

nothing special over at the cafe del moar.

it's just like some hang out place at the beach :]

with beds and daybeds around.

maybe cause it's nighttime already

and that the toliet has shower rooms.
hahahaaaa.

simple day at the sentosa.

nice scenery.

and so, i cant wait to get my camera in my hands SOON.

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

okay, aftermath is i think i gotten myself some heatstroke or

smthg lidat. -.-

i just feel like eating tons of COLD WATERMELON,

COLD FREEZY DRINKS and stuff.
NO FOOD for me these few days.

just feed me with all the cold stuff.

hahahaaaaaaaaaa.

:]

yea. :]

cool people.

Im losing the grip of you.
Im losing the power of you.
Im losing. Im losing soon....

Im going to start running. running away.

I keep stopping the urge to prompt that topic.
ARGH.
but well, it's still not bad either.
:] i guess we are still alright in this state.

Work starts to be alittle more fun each day.
despite the never ending workload.
my collegues have been suffering more than me.

funny people around.
nice e-mails around, like from mahmod!
haha. he's a funny uncle. :]
thought he would blow off when i send wrong name. HAHA.
then shipping bunch of guys.
and that BLUR GOGGLE uncle.
and afew guys to drool at.

to gs and nic:
hey. i saw my BLUR GOGGLE uncle today.
and that he looked very blur with the goggles on.
looking at fruit and choosing fruit.
then when he paid and walked off,
his wintermelon dropped onto the floor.
HAHAHA.
then he picked it up and checked if his melon is ok
with his BIG GOGGLE on.
LOL. :]
uberly cute to the max.

and i havent got the chance to wear the goggles on.
i shall do it one day and purposely walk pass the HIGHLY dangered
area. :))
before i leave that place.

so yea. you can see that i'm starting to catch some fun in my workplace.
:)

afew cool guys to drool at too.
hahahahahahaha.
which i realised recently then.
not bad la huh.

today is the 15th!
it marks the end of CNY.
it also is the Chinese Valentine's day
it's also the full moon night
it's also a thursday.

tonight, the full moon gona brings a feeling of loneliness
atleast to me.
:(

silent night.

i seriously want to get a camera soon.
so i can start shooting around, with val sometimes too.
and i realise my hse area has perfect spot to take photoshoot.
like theres just this railway track afew blocks away from me.
old shophouses afew blocks away from me.
so just look at these.
isn't this gona be good good spots for phototaking?
uh huhhhhhhh :)

last note,

Happy Chinese New Year for the last one,
Happy Chinese Valentine's too.

have fun eating rich balls away~

:)

and to qiqiqi and a ting!
i misssssssssssssssssss the fruit cake at Marche seriously.
so seriously
damn seriously.

i fall in love with it!

and come on, give me a guy.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
for this 2008.

i desperately have the urge to message.
message.
message.
hold on to the hp. type it and the HUGE urge to hit
the send button.

but in the end, i always didn't and end up throwing it
into draft.

when then can i send it?

im afraid that after i hit the send button, that's the end of the world.

i'll make the situation even worse.

but at the same time,
i desperately want to know alot of things.

How's you doing.
Whether do you still hold thoughts of me.
and stuff that's like personal and not for my audience.

ARGHHHH. GOAR.

work the 2nd week.
still cant get the hang of it.
but somehow or rather i do.
especially the part when i can walk around
to the shipping department.

and now i know what kind of job im looking for.
:]

dinner-ed.
walked around.
and i got myself a damn old tee.
LOLOOLOL.
but well, the size was like abit tight -.-

simple day after work.
just to create some L I F E.

tmr's back to WORK again.

GOSH. :

as much as i know
i still love you. i still think of you.

even when im stressed over struggling to stay floated in my workplace.
lol.

but i know these are all useless.
and im just too tired to think about it anymore.
except for the few occassions that u popped in my mind.

i had tried my best. my very best.
all my might. all my energy.
all my hope.

it seems useless now.

i all drained up.
it's as dry as ikan bilis.

i just want to sleep everyday after workkkkk.

damn tired. gets tiredddddd x2 that easily
ever since i started working.

ahhhh~~~~~~~~~~

i need SLEEP. FULL SLEEP

gosh.
this means that i cant be able to watch TV shows, online longer
shop longer and eat the food i stocked at home more.
means its like out from home. and by the time i got home.
my eyes are so dried up and i got to strain my eyes till
my eye bag look like puffy fish.
then cant wait to really get bathed in just like 5secs
and then lied on the bed and sleep.
its just like -.-
no quality time for me to eat, sleep and online.
HAHA!
all i want for is a very long sleep. :]
a full long sleep.

and hey. cny is not yet over.
but just tell me why this yr's cny is sucha boring, quiet and
mono one.
just tell me why.
TELL ME WHY.


great day out with qiqiqi~ and a Ting!
haa.
marche.
and yesh. ooooooww.
their cakes are heavenly o nice.
:]
and damn i forgot to take down their nice photos.
the fruit cake is pretty colourful and nice and yummy.
solid serving as well.
the fudge cake is just nice. not too sweet.
and of cos it's chocolately.
:]]]]]]]
oh god.
im sure going back for their cakes again.
their FRUIT CAKE.
wooohoo.
and maybe i'll just settle bx's present by treating a cake.
HA!
at the same time, i could kill my temptation as well~
:]

good food, good people.
bad energy power, bad timing spent tgt.
LOL.

tired la.

and i killed and grabbed a bag out of m)phosis sales.
not bad huh. :]

and gosh. it's only sat and im like stress over the workload
im going to start doing on monday during mon.
that.........
i dreamt of it ytd night.
oh gosh.
im stress over whether im able to handle the workload starting on mon.
becos its like it's going to be ME that runs the major daily reports for customers,
reports status and stuff.
OMG!
important stuff which runs by temp staff initially and now it's me.
i just cant get off the thinking of what's going to happen on monday.
like running dono how many company's report and then email to them?
then fax?
then status?
-.-
PLEASE BLESS ME THAT I CAN HANDLE IT WELL AND SMOOTH ASAP.

it can just get so stress.
on top of that, i didn't absorb much from handover.
bcos everybody is just so busy.
and i got to buck up on my english command.
cos i'll be like replying to customer's email.
and the customer is like one person, it's a COUNTRY, MAIN COMPANY.
ARGHHH.

tell me. im not the only one struggling?

completing work within the hours of worktime.
OH MAN.
please dont let me dream of it again tonight.
i need SLEEP.

and stop it stupid running nose.
recently i just catch a cold practically every midnight.
and i got to like wake up and sneeze for how many zillion times
and blow my nose like never ending then get back to slp.
some flu bug attacked me only during midnights.
cough too.

-.-

some lack of proper slacking kid blogging here about her stress.

okay. for commerical reasons,
i couldn't blog in details about attachment.
wanna know more, you can ask me anytime.

just in short and sweet notes,
it's only the 3rd day.
and theres quite alot of stuff going on and LOTS of things to
do everyday and learn.
cause i got to like absorb from the handover BY THIS WEEK.
and then besides learning, i got lots of things to do on hand.
that makes me having overtime like ytd and today.
but well, good welfare i can say. ask me more.

and the place consist like 90% of guys. OMGOSH!
haha!

okay. so im considered lucky.
that i can to get at chinese restaurant with my department's
staff and managers.
omg!
say im lucky.
haaa
though im like the youngest over in the department and everyone
just seems to be like my uncles and aunties. haha!
and im like the niece.
=P

HAA!

okay.
do ask me more.

and im tired everyday -.-

i need LIFE!

lonely quiet empty cny this year.




and tmr is gona be a big big day
=(

There's many things that i wanted to tell you.
but there may not be chances anymore.
things that i've learnt and realised.
things that i wanted to share with you.

maybe it had turned one sided.
that it's time to put a full stop to it.

i dreamt of him.
and its a +ve one.
does that meant something?

gobbling and eating away~
CNY goodies are goody lovey.
muhahahahaha.

im going fatter each day in this manner.
lol. X)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
新年快乐!

let's HUAT this year together. :]

May it be a fruitful year.
一个丰收年。
Grab hold of chances and get success out of it.
aim high!

chinese new year is a great festival.
many things to prepare for it, many traditional customs and
food that can be eaten during chinese new year only.
food like shun and suan ( leek).
then mandarin oranges.

then flowers that only blossom during chinese new year.
customs every chinese new year

i like keeping these kind of traditional customs around.
it's like if we dont keep, what's gona happened next time
during my generation.

had a great laugh today at my grandmother's house today.
hearing all my aunties speaking broken english.
it's super cute and funny.
cause my cousin married to a british man.
and so.....
everyone is like trying their best to speak their english
to communciate with him.
hahahahahahaha.

on a heavier note, grandmom was applied to go home for
chinese new year for 2 years before going back to hospital.
she slimmed down real lot.
it hurts to see her in this state. where just few months ago,
she's still okay.
not like now.

alright.
KELLY: yesyes, we'll go sentosa soon.... brenda cant wait alr =/ haha.
YANQI: YANQI~ im touched to see your tag here. really appreciate it :)
Long time since we last gone out le. we'll go out often soon!
I will call you out de. haha! after work to complain to each other.
haha. :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

HUIQI & LIQI: dont worry. there wont be 100% post on "that topic". haha.



lastly, GONG XI FA CAI :]

the cold breeze makes me feel like taking a walk. a quiet one
so that i could reminiscence. however, the rain started to pour heavier
each time.i perfectly like this weather now. though its coldddddddd.

i dono where to start on it.
Nways, the following part may be abit to myself.
not to my blog audience.

i certainly hope that you would know that
i still carry you in my heart and mind whenever i goes.
while im trying to breathe in new air, theres this little creature
and shadow running in my mind. and that's you.

they say that failed relationship is essential for one to grow. indeed,
i grow. but does that mean that there's no good ending after you learnt it
and grow through it? yes, u may say there will be good ending but with another
different better person. but hey no, i just wanted someone i've been with again.

will that mean that failed relationship makes you grow but at the same time,
you gona lost that person that makes you grow forever and ever?

i collected and placed each of them together.

as time goes, both parties may tend to be more demanding? may easily
be triggered and bored of all the nonsense and put up with one's nonsense.

when conflicts occured, and a serious one.
that could meant that both parties had grown up, different perspective in life.
after time of putting up with each other's nonsense.

probably in this stage, it's called love had mature. both parties had matured too.
therefore, it causes different opinions and stuff which is different from the beginning.

those sweet, loving days. "i dont mind your nonsense".

once relationship is stablised, grow as time goes.
definitely both will grow together as the relationship as well as the love.

BUT.

after each has realised, each has grown up, each has changed as each grow up,
each has matured, love has matured.

and the side effect may be sick and tired, fall in feelings.

but will there be a day when, each realised how love can be different and
how love matures and grow which is intangible.

and after all these, both can get back?

and that this is just part of how love grows.?
初期阶段- 爱快萌芽 -萌芽了。

maybe love is just like how a person grow up.
love grows too. in intangible form. as time goes.
you and me never know how love look likes, how love come from.
the only thing we know is that love is in a form of emotional expressions.

it's just like how a person grow up. in between during puberty stage,
there are alot of unstability, uncertainly and emotional unstability.
but once this stage is cleared, everything is back and okay. and may be better.

love can be break down into stages.
during its introduction stage, this is where love is blind, love is numb.
everything is wonderful and beautiful. everything is like perfect as long as
with you around. lovey dovey and that love is in the air. i dont mind your nonsense
i dont mind your bad habits.

in this stage, it allows you to further understand your partner and sees them in
various angle. in and out of them.

this stage put you into a test to fully understand each other and if it's going to be
working out well.

if you cleared this stage,

here comes the growth stage.
where slowly, you and i grow. there'll be times when frequent conflicts, quarrels popping out.
i cant stand your this and that. putting alot of your own temper and putting your own
usual way of doing things into your partner.
it's just like getting sick eating chicken rice everyday.

this stage put a test to whether are you able to handle things well together with your partner?

then here comes the most hard to understand stage.

Maturity stage.
when situations like "i cant stand your nonsense anymore" "i cant stand it anymore"
"i am sick and tired of all these".
unstability occurs in this stage.
the duration may be long or short.
this is where love grows as one grows.
love is grown together as one grows. as it is found in part of your body.

this stage put you in a test.
if after all these, both of you realise that we have all grow up.
perspective of things changes.
and after the unstability over, all of you can get back together.
strong as now each of you know what is really going on.
you had cleared this stage.

bad incidents is just a part in the maturity stage.

is that how to say it?
what will results in my maturity stage?
when will it end?

will he be holding on strong and think at it?

is that how to say it?
damn. im struggling to express all these thoughts into words.
which is seriously a HARD task for me. -.-
dictonary, come into my mind now.

uh. i dono.


i tried to breathe in new air, stepping on cement concrete floor w/0 you around.

this weather makes me wanna go for a walk maybe at...... botanic garden or somewhere.
which i can enjoy quietly in the tranquil beauty of nature.

i misses you.

something out of that topic for this entry.

it teared and pained me when i watch the drama at 1pm
on saturday.

the drama may be just acting for audience to watch and may
not be true,
but it depicts the life of elderys and the eldery society in Singapore.

how many people really understand the life they're undergoing
during their golden age?

common issues like unable to work, illness, sickness, spending
golden old age alone and stuff.

with worrying about expenses and when will they leave this world.

alot of issues. and normally, these issues pained me.

on a lighter note,
theres a group of elderly that are really living in good health to
the age of 102 and that amazes me.

maintaining good health, having children and grandchildrens around
able to live on his own and stuff.

this respect me.

i will want to do smthg for them a day. :]

Thanks you people. just the few of the few.

haaa.

countdown to ipp.

countdown to cny.

seriously, friends please date me out often.

im afraid that i'm surviving from "working obessity"

symptons and the effect will be no life.

or maybe im just finding excuses.

papers just gone by the wind.

it's fast.

but the process is dread and tiring.

Everyday, once i woke up.

time to hit the books all the way till night.

with few minutes of onlin-ing and tv-ing.

that's making me exhausted.

or also, maybe im just numbing it.

whatever and nomatter what,

it's still great having friends around me :]

chado is like love.

the bitterness of it make one grow up.

it is the bitterness that is necessary.